make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
