Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
