i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
