Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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