so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
