I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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