I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
