I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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