so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
