I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
