You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
