I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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