It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
