If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
