I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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