i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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