the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You've changed since you got that strap on
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
