Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
