96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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