Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You are a genius and a whore.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
