are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
