he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
