Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
