Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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