And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
