well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize