shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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