I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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