He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize