Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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