wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize