he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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