I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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