I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
