whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
