So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
