it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
