Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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