I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
