I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
