that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
