Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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