what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
