The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
