Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
