i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
