found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize