Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
