I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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