made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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