Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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