...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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