I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
