i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize