I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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