just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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