Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
