I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
