Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
